Bruno Mars: "...When I see your faaaace..."
Girl: "Ok ok I get it."
* * *
Cannibal TV Shows: How I Marinated Your Mother
* * *
Me: "I bet I can make you forget that you're gay."
Friend: "But I'm not gay..."
Me: "There you go."
* * *
If you watch porn backwards, it's about a sperm vacuum cleaning up messes. ...And then everyone gets a pizza.
* * *
Cops: “Please step out of the car.”
Me: “I can’t. I’m drunk. You get in.”
* * *
Nothing makes you more awake than cup of coffee…spilled on the keyboard...
* * *
You are an alcoholic when you don't know how Red Bull tastes like without vodka
Vir - Twitter:
@Rhodes411
@itsWillyFerrell
@mr_foto
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