nedelja, 11. december 2016

Umetna roka





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torek, 08. november 2016

The backwards brain bicycle




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Prleške modre misli

Ko mi ludi  rečejo, da sn se spremeno, bi jim najrejši dal roko in rekel:
"Tude ti  bi se lehko!"


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Kej mata skupnega WC pa pokopališče? Ko  moreš it - moreš it.


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Kda me kdo doma svadi, te gren stalno v  špejzo, pa še  boj zategnen glaže od murk, pa paprike... tak, ze pa si jih  odpirejte!


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Nikol nemo zastopa smisla spovedi. Zakaj bi hoda v neki  mali stišjeni plac, pa šimfa samega sebe, če me že drügi zadoste.


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Če  se oženiš pri 20-ih, je isto kak či greš domu z diskota ob  21:15


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Proba sen kühati z vinom... po 3 kupicah sem pozaba zake sen v  kühji..


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Več cejta zdržin pod vodo kak  doma.


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Kak pravijo  moškemi brez kondoma ? ATA


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Snoči sen spija teko vodke, da sen se gnes  zbüda z ruskin naglason


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Nikol mi nede jasno....celo noč piješ, vjutro  pa si žejen kak zmej!


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Teko stanj si je napisala o svojen bivšen  pubeci, da sen ga že jas začeja pogrešate.


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Kda sen bija mali, mi  je blo vseeno kak sta me mama pa ata oblekla, ze pa gledan stare slike, pa vidin  ke je jima tüde blo.





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ponedeljek, 24. oktober 2016

petek, 07. oktober 2016

Industrijski razvoj Kranja



Dokumentarni film Industrijska zgodovina Kranja je nastal kot zaključni izdelek projekta SEM@S (Sharing European Memories At School). Pri projektu je sodelovala skupina evropskih organizacij, ki se ukvarja z zgodovinskim spominom; kako le-ta nastaja, kako se prenaša in kako vpliva na našo družbo. Slovenski del projekta je zastopala Mestna knjižnica Kranj. Sodelovali pa so tudi Gimnazija Kranj, Zgodovinski arhiv Ljubljana, enota za Gorenjsko, Gorenjski muzej in Openlab.




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petek, 30. september 2016

Lazyboy - Underwear Goes Inside The Pants



Besedilo:
Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural.
But we got pills for that.
We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now.
Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad.
I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases.
Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?"
Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it.
Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean.
I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that?
That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now.
Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves.
If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?
What's going to happen to our porno industry?
These women don't just grown on trees.
It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.
And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time.
You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds.
Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think?
They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?"

Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time.
Do you know what the number one health risk in America is?
Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic.
An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day.
The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.
I'll sit at a drive thru.
I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter.
Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large.
You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. There's room in the back. Take it!
Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life.
Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft?
Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think,
"You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them."

We're in one of the richest countries in the world,
but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago.
There are homeless people everywhere.
This homeless guy asked me for money the other day.
I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol.
And then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on.
Why am I judging this poor bastard.
People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.
Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit?
Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless.
I walked behind this guy the other day.
A homeless guy asked him for money.
He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.
People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy.
This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants.
Outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date.
I'm predicting some problems during the interview process.
I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy.
Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.

sreda, 14. september 2016

torek, 05. julij 2016

Misel dneva #13

Bodite prijazni do teh beguncev.
Čez par let bodo to nemški turisti.


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ponedeljek, 06. junij 2016

Ženske - nikol ni nič prav!

Če jih pogledaš kot moški: potem mislijo da si z njimi zaradi seksa.
Če jim pokažeš, da si lahko z njo tudi brez seksa: potem imaš sigurno drugo.

Če cel dan delaš, da zaslužiš: potem te nikoli ni z njo.
Če si z njo: potem si jebena nula od človeka, in samo motiš namesto, da bi bil koristen.

Če so bogate:  ji moraš dokazovati, da nisi z njo zaradi denarja.
Če so mlade in lepe: ji moraš dokazovati, da nisi z njo zaradi lepote in mladosti.

Če jih nosiš po rokah, skrbiš za vse, kuhaš, pereš, likaš …, potem si zadnja copata, ki samo zgleda kot moški, raje bi imeli frajerja ob katerem jim hlačke padajo že če jih pogleda.
Če jih tako pogledaš, da jim hlačke padejo same od sebe: potim si tisti, ki se ga je potrebno izogibati, ker si namazan z vsemi žavbami.

Če jih imaš rad si jim dolgočasen – ker kdo potrebuje frajerja, ki skoči na vsak migljaj.
Če ne skočiš na vsak migljaj: potem si sebičen gnoj, ki gleda samo na svojo rit in ki te ne briga za njene občutke in potrebe.

Če se na njih obrneš z razumom: potem tečnarijo, zakaj ne razumeš, da pač tečnarijo, ker morajo tečnariti, zaradi delovanja njihovih hormonov.
Če jim poskušaš razložiti najenostavnejše tehnične stvari: se obrnejo vstran, ker so ženske in to ni njihovo delo, tehnika jih ne zanima. In da zakaj nas pa potem imajo.
Jih izpustiš pri tehničnih vprašanjih: potem ne ceniš njihove emancipacije in podcenjuješ njihovo inteligenco.

Če jim rečeš, da so lepe: potem si cenen, prozoren laskavec s skrivnimi motivi.
Če jim ne rečeš, da so lepe: potem se tega spomnijo v nekem trenutku in se razjočejo, ker jim tega nisi rekel.

Če se lepo oblečeš in nadišaviš: potem imaš sigurno ljubico
Če se ne oblečeš lepo in ne nadišaviš: potem jo pred vsemi sramotiš

Če si všeč tudi drugim ženskam: potem si prekleti kurbir, ki so mu njegove kurbe pomembnejše od lastne žene in družine.
Če nisi všeč tudi drugim ženskam: potem je bila sirota slepa; lahko bi dobila takšnega, ki bi bil všeč tudi drugim ženskam, ki bi ji zavidale.

Če varčuješ: potem si prekleti stiskač.
Če trošiš: potem si razsipniški.

Če si nežen ljubimec: potem si mlečnež, "Hello Kitty", ...
Če  si divji ljubimec:  potem si grobijan, ki ne razume, da je ženskam potrebna nežnost.

Če si dobre volje in vesel: potem si otročji, neresen in ne razumeš, kako je življenje težko.
Če nisi dobre volje in vesel: potem jo potiskaš še v večjo bedo, situacija je že tako brez tebe resna, ona potrebuje nekoga, ki je veder in vesel.

Če ji pomagaš v hiši: potem samo motiš, ker tako ničesar ne narediš tako kot je treba in ti reče, da si raje najdi kakšen hobi.
Če imaš nek hobi, potem je vsaka norija važnejša od tega, da ji pomagaš v hiši.


Če jih poskušaš razumeti, potem si sigurno na poti v norišnico.




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petek, 06. maj 2016

Mash-up IV.

Miley Cyrus & Mumford & Sons - Little Wrecking Ball



Prodigy Vs Enya - Smack My Bitch Up



Disturbed & Of Monsters and Men - Little Sickness




Part I.
Part II.
Part III.



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torek, 19. april 2016

Vicoteka #375

Tašča pride domov z nakupovanja in najde zeta Poldeta kako razburjeno premetava obleko in pakira kovčke:
“Kaj pa je, Polde?”
“Kaj je!!!!? Veš kaj je?!!!! Tvoji hčeri, moji ženi sem poslal e-mail, da bom prišel že danes z ribarjenja. In veš kaj sem našel, ko sem prišel domov!!??? Tvojo hči, to pičko, mojo ženo, nago z Jožetom in to v najini zakonski postelji!!! To je katastrofa, neodpustljivo! Konec zakona, grem in me ne bo več, pa naj ostane s to revo Jožetom!!!”
“Čakaj malo, Polde, čakaj malo! Pomiri se, tole se mi zdi pa res zelo čudno! Špela tega ne bi nikoli tega naredila! Nikoli! Toliko jo pa že poznam! Sigurno obstaja enostavna razlaga za to, kar se je zgodilo! Grem k njej, da vidim, kaj se je zgodilo.”
Čez nekaj trenutkov se tašča vrne vsa nasmejana:
“Polde, saj sem ti rekla, da sigurno obstaja enostavna razlaga. Stvar je v tem, da Špela sploh ni dobila tvojega maila!”


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Janez prisede k punci v lokalu: "Ti lahko plačam pijačo?"
"Kaj bo pa rekla tvoja punca? Fantje kot ti imajo vedno punco."
"Nimam je več, pustil sem jo pred mesecem dni."
"No, potem pa je OK."
In tako gre naprej, končata na zadnjem sedežu njegovega avtomobila.
Ko se potem oblačita, ona vpraša: "In kako to, da si pustil prejšnjo punco?"
"Moral sem, žena je izvedela!!!!"



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sobota, 26. marec 2016

Random acts of kindness - part 5.













Random acts of kindness - part 4.







Random acts of kindness - part 3.
















Random acts of kindness - part 2.
























Random acts of kindness - part 1.