The officer said "Papers?"
So I yelled, "SCISSORS,... I WIN!!" and drove off...
* * *
Dear Eminem,
Not only do we have the same name, but we're both black on the inside too!
Sincerely,
M&Ms
* * *
Listen, if God really didn't want women to cook, he wouldn't have filled their body with milk and eggs.
* * *
I Wish that I could wake up to surprise sex every morning,.. it's the best!
...Unless you're in prison.
* * *
I bought some batteries, but they weren't included.
* * *
Girl: "What's your favorite position?"
Guy: "68"
Girl: "What is 68?"
Guy: "It's when you go down on me and I owe you one..."
* * *
The only reason that Santa is so jolly, is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
* * *
Edward isn't a vampire... he lives in the forest, he doesn't eat people, and he sparkles...
...He's a fairy.
Vir - Twitter:
@Rhodes411
@itsWillyFerrell
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