I love it when I buy a bag of air, and the company is nice enough to put chips in it.
* * *
Two types of people that annoy me: Drunk people when I'm sober. Sober people when I'm drunk.
* * *
Crush:
"Hey :-)"
Me:
*Retard Mode, activated*
* * *
Guns don't kill people. Dads with good lookin' daughters do.
* * *
How to trick a blonde: (Click here for more)
* * *
I'm feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag.
* * *
Wow this actually works!
1) Hold your breath for 5 minutes.
2) Pass out...
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