"Me, myself and I."
* * *
That awkward moment when you make eye contact with someone... through the little crack on the bathroom stall.
* * *
If I worked on a restaurant on Valentines Day, I would put a fake engagement ring in every girl's drink.
* * *
"3 words, 8 letters. Say it, and I'm yours." ..
"3 worlds, 8 letters."
* * *
I didn’t trip; I was testing gravity. It still works.
* * *
*finds out crush isn't at school today*:
"Damn wasted outfit"
* * *
Girls are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken- the rest are handicapped.
* * *
"Stuck in the friend zone" should be a relationship status on Facebook.
* * *
I was approached by a detective yesterday and he asked, "Where were you between four and six?" So I said, "Kindergarten..."
* * *
Pregnancy tests should read: You’re Screwed! or Keep Screwing.
* * *
When I yawn, I wonder
if deaf people think I'm screaming.
* * *
That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk has to explain what he was doing to the cow...
* * *
*On Facebook* Hot person:
Just ate lunch!
*93 likes, 37 comments*
Normal person:
It's my birthday! :D
*mom likes this*
* * *
Teacher: What comes after 69?
You: 70?
Teacher: No, mouthwash! Haha, you fail!
Vir - Twitter:
@Rhodes411
@itsWillyFerrell
@Autocorrects
@laughbook
@funnyevil
--
Ni komentarjev:
Objavite komentar