sobota, 31. avgust 2013

Vicoteka #333

A mattress will double in weight after six years, just like everything else I sleep with!



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More women than men received a PhD last year proving that girls are thinker. I mean more thinky. Thoughtfuller.

Look at my boobs!



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I can't believe "strap on" backwards is "no parts". That's literally the most ironic thing in the world.



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The fact that axe handles are made of wood is the ultimate "fuck you" to trees.



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I remembered my wedding anniversary today.

It was last week.



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Me and my mates were playing poker for drugs.

I won the pot.



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Don't play with a woman's heart, she only has one. Play with her boobs, she's got two of those.



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What's the worst thing to do to a blind person? Leave the toilet plunger in the toilet.



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When a Facebook friend says their hamster died it takes al of my power not to comment
"Did they fall asleep at the wheel"?



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I was drinking at the bar, so I took a bus home. That may not be a big deal to you, but I’ve never driven a bus before.




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