Vicoteka #279

Asian pregnancy test: Put an unsolved Rubiks cube into an the vagina. If it comes out solved, she's pregnant.



* * *



Social networking has become a club. Twitter is the dance floor. Instagram is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the bathroom.



* * *



What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.



* * *



I love pressing F5. It's so refreshing.




- -

Dragon Baby

Če križaš Brucea Leeja in otročka:




--

Prvi sledilec - Lekcija o vodenju

First Follower: Leadership Lessons from Dancing Guy


Besedilo lekcije pa se nahaja tukaj.


Pa še predavanje o tem fenomenu na TED-u (Derek Sivers - How to start a movement):






--

Vicoteka #278

Status cigana na Facebooku:
"Če 100 ljudi lajka ta status, prvim 20-tim vrnem kolesa."



* * *



Don't you hate it when you're talking to a girl and you catch her staring at your penis, like "hello, my eyes are up here!"



* * *



How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream.



* * *



You're probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.



* * *



"You ask!"
"No, you ask!"
"Will you please ask?"
"Why can't you ask?!"
"Fine.. Hey my Friend wants to ask you something!".




--

Vicoteka #277

Pride vdova k sv. Petru in ga vpraša, če lahko vidi svojega moža.
Pa pravi sv. Peter:
"Ni problema!"
Vzame neko knjigo in začene iskati, zapre knjigo in pravi:
"No, med angeli ga ni."
Potem išče po drugi knjigi in pravi:
"Ni ga niti v prečiščevalnici. Ni ga!"
Vzame še eno knjigo, išče, pa pravi:
"Ni ga niti med tistimi, ki so proglašeni za blažene ali svete."
Naenkrat se spomni in vpraša vdovo:
"Kako dolgo sta bila poročena?"
Vdova:
"Pa kakšnih 50 let..."
Sv. Peter vzmame novo knjigo in ji reče:
"Zakaj pa ne poveste, da je med mučeniki...?"



--