Vicoteka #377

Popotnik se ustavi v neki zakotni vasi, v še bolj zakotnem bifeju.
Za šankom stoji bujna blondinka, v bifeju nobenega drugega gosta.
Popotnik se usede za mizo, v roke vzame cenik in ga prične brati:
- kava  1 eur
- sok  2 eur
- sendvič  3 eur
- drkanje  15 eur

Popotnik še enkrat previdno pogleda okrog sebe, a lokal je res čisto prazen, razen njiju z natakarico.
K mizi pokliče natakarico in jo diskretno vpraša:
“Gospodična, dajte mi povedat, kdo izvaja drkanje?"
Kelnarca:
“Jaz ."
Popotnik:
“Potem pa si dobro operite roke, ker jaz bi sendvič..."




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Simon Sinek - Pogled na milenijsko generacijo

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Živalska firma

Lev je ustanovil firmo in zaposlil osle, da so delali. Na začetku je vse potekalo odlično.
Lev je vodil firmo, osli so delali, firma se je razvijala.
Čez nekaj časa Lev spozna, da ima veliko denarja, a nima prostega časa, zato se odloči, da zaposli managerja. Tako Lev zaposli Medveda, da mu vodi firmo.
Kot profesionalni manager, je Medved zahteval različna poročila, da bi lahko čim bolje vodil firmo in o tem poročal Levu.
In tako je Lev užival, Medved vodil firmo, a osli so delali in zraven še pisali poročila za Medveda.
Po določenem času je Medved spoznal, da porabi preveč časa za analizo teh poročil, zato je zaposlil tri Volkove kot poslovodje. Njihovo delo je bilo, da od vseh poročil naredijo zaključno poročilo za Medveda.
Da bi Volki dokazali Medvedu kako strokovni in dobri so, so oslom uvedli nova poročila.
Sedaj so osli poleg rednega dela in starih poročil dobili še pisanje novih poročil.
To jih ni osrečevalo, zato so začeli godrnjati, ker so morali ostajati dlje v službi, da bi dokončali vsa ta poročila za Volke.
Medved je spregledal, da morala v firmi pada, zato je zaposlil Lisico, da jo dvigne.
Lisica je izvedla ankete, organizirala različne tečaje, dogodke in srečanja z namenom, da dvigne moralo v firmi in to seveda izven delovnega časa in med vikendi.
Osli so sadaj že odprto kazali nezadovoljstvo, ker so imeli vse več in več dela in vse manj in manj prostega časa.
Istočasno je Lev spoznal, da dobiček drastično pada, zato skliče Medveda, Volkove in Lisico na sestanek, da se odločijo kako in kaj naprej.
Na sestanku je bilo odločeno:
- Odpustiti polovico oslov, da se zmanjšajo stroški poslovanja, ostalim oslom pa zmanjšati plačo za 20%
VSAKA PODOBNOST Z AKTUALNIM DOGAJANJEM JE POVSEM SLUČAJNA

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Tips for a better life

1. Have a firm handshake.

 2. Look people in the eye.

 3. Sing in the shower.

 4. Own a great stereo system.

 5. If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

 6. Keep secrets.

 7. Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.

 8. Always accept an outstretched hand.

 9. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell the difference.

 10. Whistle.

 11. Avoid sarcastic remarks.

 12. Choose your life's mate carefully. From this one decision will come 90 per cent of all your happiness or misery.

 13. Make it a habit to do nice things for people who will never find out.

 14. Lend only those books you never care to see again.

 15. Never deprive someone of hope; it might be all that they have.

 16. When playing games with children, let them win.

 17. Give people a second chance, but not a third.

 18. Be romantic.

 19. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

 20. Loosen up. Relax. Except for rare life-and-death matters, nothing is as important as it first seems.

 21. Don't allow the phone to interrupt important moments. It's there for our convenience, not the caller's.

 

22. Be a good loser.

 23. Be a good winner.

 24. Think twice before burdening a friend with a secret.

 25. When someone hugs you, let them be the first to let go.

 26. Be modest. A lot was accomplished before you were born.

 27. Keep it simple.

 28. Beware of the person who has nothing to lose.

 29. Don't burn bridges. You'll be surprised how many times you have to cross the same river.

 30. Live your life so that your epitaph could read, No Regrets

 31. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

 32. Never waste an opportunity to tell someone you love them.

 33. Remember no one makes it alone. Have a grateful heart and be quick to acknowledge those who helped you.

 34. Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.

 35. Visit friends and relatives when they are in hospital; you need only stay a few minutes.

 36. Begin each day with some of your favorite music.

 37. Once in a while, take the scenic route.

 38. Send a lot of Valentine cards. Sign them, 'Someone who thinks you're terrific.'

 39. Answer the phone with enthusiasm and energy in your voice.

 40. Keep a note pad and pencil on your bed-side table. Million-dollar ideas sometimes strike at 3 a.m.

 41. Show respect for everyone who works for a living, regardless of how trivial their job.

 42. Send your loved ones flowers. Think of a reason later.

 43. Make someone's day by paying the toll for the person in the car behind you.

 44. Become someone's hero.

 45. Marry only for love.

 46. Count your blessings.

 47. Compliment the meal when you're a guest in someone's home.

 48. Wave at the children on a school bus.

 49. Remember that 80 per cent of the success in any job is based on your ability to deal with people.

 50. Don't expect life to be fair.

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